Fall and Faith

Haiz~~~~~~~~~~~finally~~~~

I am not sure if this is the sigh of relieved or sigh of stressed.

Anyway, IELTS examination has started. Listening, Reading and Writing parts were finished yesterday. For me, Listening is terrible, I found myself couldn’t concentrate on the recording when it was being played. I kept going blank. As a result, I estimate that I will get 7 or 8 errors in Listening. It was still okay for me before I heard people discussing about the answers. However, when I realized that most people did well in Listening, I was down, really down. Reading was just okay. Nevertheless, I have no confidence on my writing although I finished Task 1 and Task 2 essays in time.

Next week is going to be tough week for me because Speaking, which is the hardest part in my opinion, will be on next Sunday. I always get nervous when I have to speak English. I don’t know why people can speak good English although their mother language or first language is not English. And when they speak fluent English in front of me, this really gives a tremendous impact on my self-esteem. Alamak, can somebody help me? Okay, can you please at least pray for me?

Pimples keep popping up on my face. They thought they are popcorn which everyone likes meh! I think, may be my puberty has never gone to an end although I am now already 19 years old. Okay, this is an optimistic way to consult myself. I really hate the existence of genetic flow in this world. Because of this thing, when stress comes, the pimples come as well. I am really jealous with those people who have smooth cheek and forehead and chin (whole parts of face lah!). Why do their face always in good condition even if they are under tension or sleep late? Okay, never mind, at least pimples remind me that I am a daughter of my parents. (I am telling myself to appreciate what I have.)

Well, it is undeniable that time keeps going when I was depressed. The Earth still revolved around the Sun without coming to a halt although I shout at it to stop. Crying is useless. It doesn’t make any difference except for wasting my time. But, I want to ask that, is there any way to stop me from falling into the pool of this emotional tension?

Should I sing? No matter how noisy and annoying my voice is? (My housemates will find it unbearable.)

Should I dance? No matter how funny and clumsy my movement is? (I will laugh at myself even if others don’t.)
Should I talk? No matter how lame my topic is? (I wonder if the only one who gives applause to me is myself.) 
Should I sleep? No matter how many beasts appear in my dream? (It will be very scary unless the beast is Ashton Kutcher like in the Disney Cartoon The Beast and The beauty.)

So, none of these methods help me. Okay, never mind. At least, I still have another way. Pray! My Father Lord is the one who always listen to me and never turn his back on me. I know, He is always there even though He never shows Himself up physically. Hence, this moment, I am going to submit all my burdens to Him. Then, have faith and wait.

I pray, I hope, I trust.

开斋月光会

开斋新年？中秋晚会？傻傻分不清楚。
都不知道是为了庆祝什么，就无缘无故地办了这场开斋月光会。
说真的，很谢谢这一班朋友的赏脸，还有一位从纽西兰回来的少爷。
当然，少不了谢谢提供场所的这位小妹。。。
还有还有，就是要提醒大家谢谢我这个傻大姐主席。

真没想到，一向来懒惰的自己会突然间变成主席。
很惊讶自己那么有毅力去花时间花金钱去联系中学朋友。
姜姜姜姜~~~就有了这次的聚会。。。

材料好想买太多了哦。到最后，我们都吃不完，只好把剩下的留在主人的家，让他们明天当午餐吃吧！

 

我们准备到一半的时候，已经可以听到“咕噜咕噜”声了，不知道是我们准备得太慢，还是他们打算不吃午餐，聚会时才不会吃太少，亏本。。。哈哈。还没宣布开始，就有人的手不安分了。。。对了，顺便一提，这次的聚会诞生了一个BBQ女王，他是专门烤午餐肉给我们吃的。

少了我，大家就不会有这张“全体照”。大家都忙着吃，只有我记得拍照。其实我们这班人并不是排斥男生啦，而是，有些男生还在准备电风扇，有的在买东西，剩下最后一个，只好当我们的camera man了。都说是man了咯，女生们，大家都挤进相片里面吧！

晚餐结束后，也谢谢这一大半的家伙留下来清理，不然我真的不知道怎样向主人家交代。 但是，晚餐的结束只是代表肚子的休息，并不是说我们也得回家歇息去了。那么大班的人，怎么可能少得了“八卦”呢？

其实也不算什么八卦啦，应该说是sister talk。大家诉说着自己的男朋友或者丈夫。我们这些单身的，就在旁想想自己以后的伴侣。然后再谈到梦中的婚礼。越想越浪漫，就差当时们有人弹奏Richard Clayderman 的 The Wedding了。由于朋友当中有怀孕的，所以我们也谈到了孩子。天南地北。。。无止境了~

朋友们，

不同的背景，不同的家庭，

因为奇妙的缘份，我们相遇了。

不同的性格，不同的喜好，

因为真心的体谅，我们珍惜着。

不同的憧憬，不同的梦想，

因为互相的鼓励，我们前进中。

数绵羊，数恩典。

那几晚，失眠了，半夜十二点多，躺在床上，辗转难眠。
结果，把刚刚收进柜子的电脑再拿出来，上网寻找夜猫族朋友，
以便可以倾谈烦恼，一起找寻入梦的方法。

一个朋友说，不如数绵羊吧！
很无聊勒。。。不要嘞！我撒着娇。
嘴上是这样说来着，但是我还是乖乖上床去。

一只绵羊，两只绵羊，三只绵羊。。。九百八十八只绵羊。。。
不知道是我数的太快，还是我数学太好，
数到了一千多只，还是睡不着，反而越来越有精神。
天呀，我快疯了。

刹那间，真的是一刹那，脑海里闪出一个灵感：
数绵羊行不通，那不如数算上帝的恩典？

第一，谢谢阿爸天父让我有这个念头。
第二，谢谢阿爸天父让我有夜猫族朋友。
第三，谢谢阿爸天父让我。。。
第四。。。第五。。。第六。。。

也忘记我数算了几个，
也不知道我数了多久。

只想说，睡前的最后一个（N）再加一：谢谢阿爸天父让我睡着了。

美女与野兽

“我明天要去血拼，你要妈妈买什么回来给你啊？”
还记得小时候，只要是妈妈出门前夕，他都会问这个。
每一次，我都不知道该如何回答这个问题。
出现在我脑海里的，不是我想要的手信，
而是美女与野兽这个童话。

女儿对爸爸说，他只要一朵玫瑰。
狮子对父亲说，要把父亲回到家第一个见到的带回来。
父亲默默地说，希望我第一个见到的是一只家禽。
世事难料，女儿坐在路旁等候爸爸的归来。

我在想，也许，只要不要让妈妈那么快见到我，
那就不需要把我送入“狮子坑”了。
但是，我又希望我能够提前一秒钟见到妈妈。

我在想，也许，被送去给狮子也不错，
因为到最后，狮子会变成王子，
穿着燕尾服，手持玫瑰花，邀我跳一支舞。

矛盾的想法，占据小脑袋。

要手信的话，就要向妈妈道别。
要妈妈的话，就要与手信隔绝。

结果，我~放弃手信了。